Stress-free child rearing in Scripture
The children referred to in the article do not refer to toddlers who do not distinguish between right and wrong, but to children and teenagers who are aware that they are doing wrong.
Is stress-free parenting a good thing? What does Scripture say about corporal punishment of children? The answer may seem surprising to some, but the Bible has nothing against the use of corporal punishment for sons. This is evidenced, among other things, by the words:
Proverbs 3.12 "For whom the LORD loveth he correcteth; even as a father the son in whom he delighteth."
Proverbs 13.1 "A wise son heareth his father's instruction: but a scorner heareth not rebuke."
Proverbs 13.24 "He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes."
Proverbs 19.18 "Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying."
Proverbs 22.15 "Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him."
Proverbs 23.13-14 "Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell."
Proverbs 29.15 "The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame."
Proverbs 29:17 "Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest; yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul."
Bible on beating children
As you can see, stress-free upbringing of children does not exist, it is typically a human invention. Even in kindergartens and first grades toddlers speak disrespectfully to educators and teachers. If they do this when they are young, what will happen when they grow up? It is the duty of parents to raise them well. Sometimes words alone are not enough. Of course, everything has its limits, as does corporal punishment.
Beating to the point of blood and bruises misses the point and the supposed upbringing turns into bullying or discharge of anger, and this was not the purpose of the above quotes. The Bible says to use corporal punishment with your head and not to limit yourself to it, and to use it when other forms of admonition do not help. According to Scripture, one should first talk, reprove, admonish, and when that doesn't help reach for corporal punishment as the last means of education, which doesn't mean that it has to be used.
Pray to God for wisdom in upbringing, God's influence on the child, love, and you will definitely get the right help. Buy your child a Bible and read it aloud to him, teach him from an early age about the Creator. Praying together is already rare, but be sure that it strongly and positively affects the child's psyche.
In the Bible, we can also read the verse from the Deuteronomy 21.18-21 " If a man have a stubborn and rebellious son, which will not obey the voice of his father, or the voice of his mother, and that, when they have chastened him, will not hearken unto them: Then shall his father and his mother lay hold on him, and bring him out unto the elders of his city, and unto the gate of his place; And they shall say unto the elders of his city, This our son is stubborn and rebellious, he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton, and a drunkard. And all the men of his city shall stone him with stones, that he die: so shalt thou put evil away from among you; and all Israel shall hear, and fear."
Does this mean that bad children should be killed? Of course not! As someone wants, out of context sentences from the Scriptures can justify any crime and evil act. To understand the above verses one would need to know the culture of the Israelites of that time and the attitude of children to their parents. It was the duty of a child to respect his parents, not to disrespect them. Jesus rebuked the Pharisees for misappropriating money meant for the support of parents under the guise of piety. Because of their hypocrisy, people gave money to the Pharisees and not to their parents. Since there was no such thing as welfare, the onus was on the child to support those who begat him.
The action of the Fifth Book of Moses takes place in the desert, when the Israelites had not yet entered Canaan, and the glory of God resided among them in the Tent of Meeting. The people were supposed to have high moral standards. The child referred to above was not a toddler, but an adult drunkard and criminal. His behavior demoralized the rest of the population. Certainly not all of his offenses were listed, but we can be sure that there were many. In the European Union, the death penalty was abolished not so long ago. In the U.S. it is still in force, and it is a democratic country. In the above example, we have a picture of a criminal, a scoundrel who disrespected his parents and disobeyed the existing law. He could have left the Israelites at any time, but he did not, preferring to live among them as a villain. The death penalty was applied to him so that by his behavior he would not destroy the already weak faith of the Israelites at the time.
If one thinks of God as a gray-haired grandfather condoning everything, he is very wrong. An example can be found in the articles:
- Lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot - how to interpret words - how to interpret words
- Whether God is just. How to understand God's
Here's what you can read in the Old Testament Bible Commentary on the topic of chastising children: When we allow a child to do as he pleases, we are not showing him kindness at all. The Bible does not approve of leniency, but encourages chastisement with the rod, promising that the child will not die. This may mean that a spanking will not lead to his death, but also that it simply saves him from an untimely and foolish death. It will snatch his soul from Sheol.
Instead of punishing his sons, Heli admonished them gently: "Why do ye such things?" (1 Samuel 2:22-25). He showed leniency, which led to the downfall of his house, the priesthood and the entire nation.
David also failed to show parental discipline. He refused to harm Adonijah by punishing him (1 Kings 1.6). After two treacherous attempts to seize the throne, Adonijah died at Solomon's hand.
God chastises and smacks
Reading the Scriptures, you will repeatedly come across texts in which you will read how God chastises and smacks His children (that is, us adults too) with a rod, for example, for educational purposes:
2 Samuel 7.14-15 "I will be his father, and he shall be my son. If he commit iniquity, I will chasten him with the rod of men, and with the stripes of the children of men: But my mercy shall not depart away from him, as I took it from Saul, whom I put away before thee."
Opponents of corporal punishment object that God cannot encourage such punishment. Those who have not read the Bible should not even comment on whether God approves of it or not. Since they haven't read the Holy Book, they haven't gotten to know the God of the Bible to understand Him properly. We are human beings who sin, and one of the ways to enforce obedience and bring us back to the right path is through corporal punishment, used in moderation and reason, of course, so that the recipient understands its meaning. If someone beats a child to give vent to his anger, and has not previously tried other parenting methods, he is a fool and unfit to be a parent.
It can also be argued that the above verses are only from the Old Testament. For them, I have included below sample verses from the New Testament:
Revelation 3.19 "As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent."
Hebrews 12.5-11 "And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him: For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not? But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons. Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live? For they verily for a few days chastened us after their own pleasure; but he for our profit, that we might be partakers of his holiness. Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby."
In conclusion, it is worth adding that the vast majority of misfortunes that befall us do not come from God. Therefore, one should not claim every time that the evil that befalls us came from God because He wanted to teach us something. Unfortunately, many people forget this and treat themselves as a punching bag, and thus reduce God to a maniac persecuting his children. The evil and suffering that afflicts us is briefly explained in the article: What the Scriptures say about suffering.
